


Paint My Spirit Gold

by CharityLambkin



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Feels, Extremis, M/M, Science Bros, Science Bros Week, Tony Stark Feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-11-30 20:22:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11470989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharityLambkin/pseuds/CharityLambkin
Summary: My contributions to Science Bros Week 2017A love story, in reverse





	1. Light

Bruce dragged his sore body though the dim lab and slumped over the nearest workstation.  He felt like he couldn’t breathe, so he yanked off his tie, popping a button in the process.  He wasn’t sure if the beads of moisture running down his face were tears or sweat, and he didn’t care.

No one was there to see him.  Everyone was at the memorial service.  Half the streets in Manhattan were closed and the other half were jammed with traffic.  Bruce had meant to stand there in the bright morning sun and listen to Jim and T’Challa and a whole line of heroes speak about their fallen friend.  Even Steve had said a few words which echoed over the silent mass of people.   It seemed like all of New York had emptied into the streets to honor Tony Stark.

But Bruce couldn’t stand it.  He walked back to the Tower with his hands shoved deep in his pockets and his eyes glued to the sidewalk in front of him and headed to the one place he was absolutely certain no one would be.

Tony’s lab.  It had been dark since he died, with the glass tinted against strange eyes until FRIDAY and Bruce could figure out what to do with everything in it.  Even FRIDAY had been quiet and subdued, and neither of them wanted to face the task of emptying the lab.  He couldn’t speak for the AI, but for Bruce, leaving the lab as Tony left it made it feel like he was going to be back soon.

Bruce booted up the holographic displays.  He peeled off his suit jacket and pushed up his sleeves as blue-white light washed over the room, but once he was settled, he couldn’t think of a project to open.  He sat hunched over the desk, mind blank for a few minutes.

“Good afternoon, Doctor Banner,” FRIDAY said.

“Is it afternoon?” Bruce said. 

“It is 12:35 p.m.  Would you like to order lunch?” she asked hesitantly, though she tried to hide it in robotic efficiency. It might have worked on someone else.

“Not right now, thank you,” Bruce said.

They lapsed into silence. 

Bruce was grateful, in a small way, that the suit died before Tony did because that meant FRIDAY didn’t feel him die.  Tony would have been grateful.  JARVIS could have handled it, but FRIDAY wasn’t JARVIS. 

She knew before any of them, though, because the last thing she did before the suit lost all function was to fire every canister of morphine she had into Tony’s bloodstream.  She wouldn’t have done that unless she was absolutely sure that there was no way to save him from hitting the ground, and no one was close enough to try.

He still didn’t understand how he found himself blinking into the burning sun with the taste of smoke in his mouth, but Steve was already picking him up and half-carrying him across a dusty street.

“Tony’s down,” Steve said.  “Hulk turned back to you pretty quickly, but Tony’s suit won’t open and he’s not responding.”

“Wait…what?” Bruce said as he got his feet under him.

“Tony’s down.  The suit went down.”

“How far?”

But he didn’t get an answer because then he could see a thin curl of smoke and see the Iron Man suit laying on the buckled asphalt and he was running.  He slid to the ground beside Tony, even though his bare knees scraped on the pavement.  The suit was completely dark—he looked like a broken toy discarded on the ground.

“Tony?” Bruce called, just in case Tony could hear him.  “I’ve got you.  Steve’s here, too.” 

He slid his finger under Tony’s chin to trigger the helmet’s manual release.  The faceplate popped off to reveal Tony’s face, so white that Bruce thought for a moment that he was dead already.  But after a second, Tony gasped in a breath of air, which caught in his throat and bubbled up in a bloody cough.  His eyes were open, though Bruce had no idea how he was conscious. 

“Tony, I’m going to get you out of here,” Bruce said as calmly as he could as he reached for the release button to the chest plate.

“No!” Tony gasped again.  “Don’t open the suit.  I think it’s the only thing holding me together.”

Bruce’s hands froze and his mind went very still.  Blood continued to rise up and catch in Tony’s throat, so Bruce did the only thing he could think of and sank closer to Tony so he could slip his hand under Tony’s head and raise it a little.  The rest of his body was pinned down by the weight of the Iron Man suit.

“Just breathe,” Bruce said.

“Our pickup is almost here,” Steve said from somewhere above them.  But Tony smiled a little bit, and Bruce knew there wasn’t going to be any time.

“Hey,” Tony said.  His voice was hoarse and hard to hear.  “It’s okay.  I can hardly feel anything.”

His pupils were blown wide, and he didn’t seem to be focusing on anything, but he kept talking. 

“You know I love you, right?” Tony said.

“I know.  I love you, too.”

“I wish we had more time, but what we had was good, right?”

“Better than good.  It was…a light in the darkness.  I don’t know where I’d be right now if it wasn’t for you,” Bruce said.

That made Tony smile again and really look at him.  Bruce massaged the back of Tony’s head the way he liked, and Tony sighed and relaxed.  Bruce leaned down the rest of the way and pressed their lips together.  He tasted like blood and smoldering metal.

“Can you feel that?” Bruce murmured.

“I can,” Tony said.

So Bruce kissed him again.

Tony sighed one more time, and then he was gone.  Bruce watched the light fade from his eyes.  He was too stunned to cry or scream or do anything but sit there with Tony’s head in his lap while Steve stood guard above them.

Bruce didn’t remember much after that.  He knew Steve had to pry him away when the medics arrived, but they just confirmed what everyone already knew.  He didn’t remember the ride home in the jet, or much of the week that followed.  And now here he was, sitting out Tony’s big public memorial service.  But that didn’t matter to him.  He’d had his chance to say goodbye. 

“Friday,” Bruce said after a while, “are there any of Tony’s projects that need immediate attention?”

“No, Doctor.  Stark Industry teams have taken over most responsibilities and contracts.”

Of course, he knew that Tony would have made sure the right research went to the right department. 

“What about something more…personal?  Did he have any pet projects that need anything?”

FRIDAY sounded a little guarded when she said, “Anything that personal can be accessed only by Mr. Stark.”

“Yeah, well, FRIDAY, Tony’s dead,” Bruce said, and his voice come our harsher than he meant.  He licked he lips and tried again. “Tony’s dead,” he said, softer.

The air pressure in the room changed as the door slid silently open.  Whoever was coming didn’t bother to turn on the lights.

“There you are, Bruce,” Steve said with relief. 

Bruce could guess he was grateful to find him sitting in the dark instead of rampaging over the eastern seaboard.

 “I thought you were speaking at the…” Bruce trailed off.  Steve had probably heard him yelling at FRIDAY, even through the closed door.

“I did.  It ended, and I didn’t see you, so I got worried.”  Steve leaned in the doorway.  He rarely came into this lab anyway, and without Tony there, it felt like sacred space. 

“I don’t think I want to go back.  There are too many people.  How about I make us something to eat downstairs?” Steve sounded hopeful.

Steve was trying to help, and Bruce couldn’t think of a reason to sit in the dark any more.

“Ok,” he said as he stood and pushed the chair back against the desk.  Steve nodded and headed down the hall.

Bruce looked back to the dark lab.  Everything would be there when he got back.  As he left, the holograms blinked off behind him.  Bruce shut the door softly on the darkness.

He didn't see the yellow light blinking on the black monitor.

_Bruce?  Are you there?_


	2. Pending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Status pending...

Tony stared blearily at the blinking yellow cursor.

 _Status Pending_ …

At least that was better than yet another _Upload_ _Failed_.

Still, he buried his head in his arms on the desk and took a deep breath. He wasn't out of options yet.

He was a lot more tired than he thought and he must have slipped off into a light doze because the next thing he knew, it was morning and Bruce was pressing his palm against the lab door sensor.

With lightning speed, Tony tore the electrodes off his forehead and stuffed them, wires and all, into a toolbox. He was still wearing the clothes that Bruce had seen him in the night before, but that wasn't unusual at all. But his hair was sticking up all over the place from the electrode adhesive and he must have had a wild-eyed look on his face because Bruce paused in the doorway.

“I’d ask what you were doing, but I think you would’ve already told me if you wanted me know,” Bruce said. He didn’t come any further into the lab. “I’m going to go get some coffee to give you some time to scramble and hide whatever it is you’re doing.”

“You don’t drink coffee!” Tony called to Bruce’s back.

“I’ll bring you a nice herbal tea, then,” Bruce answered, but he didn’t stop.

Tony watched him to make sure he actually left--he had no reason to believe Bruce would try to sneak a look. He was a pretty straight-shooter, and he would ask to see anything he was curious about.

And, Tony thought, Bruce really had no interest in Tony’s weird pet projects, even if he could rope him in to help every once in awhile.

But this was different. This was Extremis. They had a conversation about it, a real adult sit-down, about exactly what Tony was planning on doing with the Extremis virus once he stabilized it enough to cure Pepper. He had to call Bruce in for his help on that one, and they had kept it so quiet that Bruce was one of the few people on the planet who understood the full potential--and dangers--of the virus.

“Destroy it,” Bruce had said immediately. “Don’t use it, don’t store it, don’t do anything with it because you don’t--we don’t--even understand what it can do. Or what it’s going to decide to do in ten, fifteen years after it’s been living inside your body.”

And, Bruce added softly, it wasn’t worth it to experiment on himself.

Tony reluctantly agreed. He saved Pepper. He saved himself from the horror of the arc reactor. They both agreed it couldn’t do anything for Bruce and Hulk.

It was time to let it go, move on to the next chance to save the world.

But Tony hadn’t. He kept it under biometric lock and key, buried in the deep freeze, just in case. In case of what, he didn’t know. But he did know that Bruce would flip his lid if he found out that Tony still had the little bug around.

Much less that he was using it to download himself into a blank AI.

Tony took the time Bruce gave him and took the electrodes out of the drawers to untangle the leads and put them back where they belonged. He glanced at the computer monitor... _Status_ _Pending_.

Bruce came back with chai and coffee from the coffee shop he liked ten blocks away. He brought pastries, probably to lure Tony away from the computer with the threat of crumbs in the hardware.

Tony managed another look before he switched off the display.

 _Status_ _Pending_.

Bruce knew something was up because he was smiling when Tony looked up at him.

“Do you want me to leave you alone today? You’re acting suspicious.”

This is where Pepper would usually ask him if he was dying, or planning on doing something that may cause him to die in the very near future.

“I’m not dying!” Tony said.

Bruce blinked. “Ok, thanks for the reassurance. That totally doesn't make me feel any less suspicious now.”

“Pepper always thinks I’m dying when if I’m trying to hide something.”

Bruce’s eyebrows drew together in that way when he was both humoring Tony and trying to understand him. “So you are trying to hide something?”

Tony’s mouth snapped shut but he answered, “Yes.”

“Ok,” Bruce said. The humor hadn’t left his face. “Come find me later then.”

He turned to leave.

“No, Bruce, come back,” Tony called after him.

“I’ll be fine alone for a few hours,” Bruce reassured.

“It might be for more than a few hours,” Tony admitted.

 _Status_ _Pending_ blinked at him again.

“Don’t worry how long it takes. I’ll wait for you.” With one last smile, Bruce wandered back toward the elevators.

Alone again, after he got confirmation from FRIDAY that the elevator had left and the door was locked, he took out the electrodes and their lines and started again.

Twenty-three hours later: _Download_ _Complete_.

 

 


	3. Rush

The ground was rushing up to meet him.

2000 feet.  
  
1500 feet.

1200.

1000.

“Boss,” FRIDAY said. “Boss?”

Tony couldn’t feel anything in the suit. He’d hit terminal velocity, so he felt like he was flying, floating, even though he was sinking, falling. He closed his eyes so he couldn't see his fate through the visor, even though he couldn’t tune out FRIDAY’s blaring sirens.

Tony opened his eyes. He drew his knees to his chest and then shot his legs out to engage the thrusters and pulled up hard. His hands slapped the water and the spray obscured his vision as he brought his palm thrusters back against his sides to steer, but he managed to even out so he skimmed the Atlantic waves instead of tumbling beneath them.

“That was close, Boss,” FRIDAY said.

“That’s why we’re flying over water and not Park Avenue. Calibrate the proximity sensors to account for reduced reaction speed,” Tony said. “But good job on the gyroscopic correction. Kept me out of a spin.”

“Thanks, boss.”

Tony pulled up in a gentle arc so he was vertical again and waited for FRIDAY to make the necessary adjustments. He’d had too many close calls lately. He clipped a wall in the last battle when he tried to bank too sharply. He’d taken a full shot to the chestplate when he didn’t fire his I-beam quickly enough to deflect it. And not long before, Hawkeye had taken out an enemy that he never even saw on his tail.

He spent hours in the shop afterwards, testing and retesting the armor’s every system and protocol. Every test came to the same conclusion.

Tony was getting old.

Of course, he thought he was already old when he built his first suit out of missile scraps, but in reality he was just entering his prime. Iron Man had given him a second life, and he didn’t squander it. He ate better, drank less, exercised for the first time in his life. But he was already dying his hair and his beard for the press before Rogers was even unfrozen and the Avengers were just an idea in a SHIELD file.

He was already old when he met Bruce, who didn’t bother hiding the grey in his hair or the way he ached after a transformation. But in the years that followed, Tony had counted every curly grey hair on his head, every line around his eyes, and he knew a hard truth. Bruce had stopped ageing when Hulk showed up. He didn’t look a day older than when they met because, technically, he wasn’t.

So Tony dyed his hair more often, ate what Bruce ate, stopped drinking, worked out even more--gave up more control of the suit to FRIDAY when he couldn’t trust his own reactions any more.

Experience made up for a lot as he lost his youth, but it was only going to get him so far. One day, maybe soon, some small mistake was going to get him killed. That idea was actually pretty appealing to Tony. If he had to choose--if he could choose--how it all ended, he would want to die fighting as Iron Man. He would want to die a hero. There were some days in his past that he actively sought out that fate.

But that was before he fell in love with Bruce, and it felt like he’d been falling ever since in one giant rush. So, now, he pushed himself faster and farther because one day, he was going to have to leave Bruce behind.

Until then, he flew as high as he could, until he could almost taste the empty void of space that was just beyond the exosphere, to feel the rush as he let himself fall


End file.
